Just when I had my eyes on you, you started wandering off.

I was never ever strong enough. Not when it comes to you. Not when 7 years of friendship have passed. I'm still feeling the same, it's becoming a recurring nightmare not even you can help.

Droplets of hope.

Its raining over here in camp. Well actually its raining everywhere. My whole bunk is asleep and I can't fall asleep somehow. Maybe there's too much on my mind. Somehow or another, NS has done a very complete and thorough job in transforming our whole life into military life. Now, whenever I book out, all I can talk about with my buddies is camp life. And well, to other people, nothing much, except for when their updating their lifes and stuff. Really really starting to think this will make a drastic change to the people in my life. And for that matter, I've realised the change in my character. No, the true side of me actually. I'm talking about the way I communicate to others, the way I behave, or make jokes around and what I do when my anger level is up to a person's head. All these personalities which have been inside of me have been non-existant for a very long time. Maybe cos I've been too laid back. I see that as a positive change, cos all of a sudden, I forgot who I was. Hopefully ill be able to unveil more of who I am, in weeks to pass.

In the past few weeks, I've realised who are the people I truely miss and treasure as a friend. Those that have always been there but regretably, not the first person I go to when I'm facing a particular problem. And maybe I've hid too much, so now its hard to get back that kind of relationship. I really hope these thoughts and feelings don't extend, for there's no good way things will turn out. At the same time I know you've lost one, and found another, I remain glad that you've found happiness, and that we would and should stay as good friends. Here's hoping he would reciprocate your feelings, as I'm sure he'd be a lucky man.

Nightmare.

I cannot have these feelings for you coming back to me now. I've managed to subdue it for what, 5 years, and really shouldn't be even thinking about it. Hopefully it was just a thing of the moment.

Erased