I've realised that most of the time, I blog when I'm feeling down, or just have thoughts that I deem feel better to be expressed through text, rather then words.
So I've made it a point to keep things balanced. On a see-saw, one side reserved for my heavy heart, the other for the latter. However, keeping in line with the expression, I need more light hearted events to keep it fair. So far its none at the moment, but I hope things will get better.
The Depression.
This week has been a rather depressing one. I found myself to become pretty brainless, probably because all day long at work I just repeat the same things over and over again. What's made it worse is that my colleague just left, which makes me the only caller. Now its both depressing and lonely. The other staff members are always so busy cos we're shorthanded, and I'm always lunching alone. Usually I'm able to take these feelings rather well, but with the nature of the work, with people being rude and hanging up all the time, it just became worse. I hope things become better. Maybe I need a new job, hmm.
The Anxiety
I don't know is it the feeling of anxiety that I've been feeling rather short-breathed nowadays. I think its all karma coming back to me, but I feel really crappy nowadays. Afraid of something. Something so deep and dark you don't wanna uncover, but it's the truth. No one understands how you feel, because it's just the way you feel. No one else has your heart.
Have you ever experienced something so magical. And yet, you sidewalk and think of that something as just an illusion. It's just based on futuristic expectations. Because of that, sometimes I think I gave too much too quickly. And maybe you are scared. If you aren't, I am. That you actually do not feel the same way I do. We are both confused people. But I know my feelings for you are true. I don't know what to do now.
